Steak

The next two items in the very long sentence we're working through are sausages and bacon. But we've already dealt with both of those. Although I have to comment that grammatically, "bacon and steak" is listed as one item (you may have noticed the same issue with pork chops and lamb chops). Commas are important people! This isn't even an Oxford comma debatable situation! Unless the Brits serve bacon and steak as one unknown-to-me entree (which is entirely possible), this is just poor grammar. Sorry J.K. English-nerd rant over.

We will treat steak as a single entity:

"He had never seen so many things he liked to eat on one table: roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops and lamb chops, sausages, bacon and steak, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, fries, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup, and, for some strange reason, peppermint humbugs" (Sorcerer's Stone 123).

I can only recall ever eating one single bite of steak in my life. This of course, is positively sinful to all the carnivores I know. What can I say? It wasn't for me. There are a couple options when looking for vegetarian steak recipes, so I decided to try one for the king of steaks: vegetarian filet mignon. 

You Will Need:

6oz silken tofu (usually half a box)

3/4 cup cold water

1 1/2 Tbs ketchup

1 Tbs olive oil

1 1/2 Tbs Braggs (or soy sauce)

1/2 Tbs steak sauce

1 tsp Worcestershire Sauce (which, heads up, isn't technically vegan, but they do make vegan versions)

1/4 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp Italian seasoning

1/4 tsp powdered sage

1 Tbs Nutritional yeast

2 Tbs beef-style vegetarian boullion

1 1/2 Tbs cornmeal (I didn't have any, so I used soy flour... hopefully the grainy-ness of cornmeal isn't essential to the recipe!)

1 1/2 cups Vital Wheat Gluten Flour

For the Broth, You Will Need:

1 1/2 Tbs oil

2 Tbs soy sauce

1/2 tsp black pepper

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1/2 tsp onion powder

1. Combine all the ingredients (except the cornmeal and the gluten flour) in a blender and blend until smooth.

2. Whisk the gluten flour and cornmeal together in a bowl. Pour the contents of the blender into the bowl and mix together. Knead the dough for a few minutes and form into a firm ball. You may need to add more gluten flour, as the dough should be soft but not sticky. Note: I probably added a full 1/2 cup, so no worries!

3. Cover the bowl with a towel and let sit for 1 hour.

4. Mix the broth ingredient in a medium-large pot.

5. Flour the counter surface with gluten flour (flour your rolling pin too), and roll out your dough. It kind of just gets to a certain thickness where it won't flatten anymore.

6. If you have a biscuit cutter, cut 6 little filets. Or if you're like me, just cut the dough into 6 pieces :)

7. Place the steaks in the cold broth (it will be tight) and bring the contents to a slow simmer. Cook on low, turning occasionally, for 75 minutes. Heads up: the steaks will expand A LOT, so turning them will get more and more difficult.

8. Allow the steaks to cool for about 10 minutes, then place the steaks and broth in an air-tight container to store in the fridge.

9. Serve the steaks with a spoonful of broth on top.

The verdict? A little salty, but very tasty! My carnivore father's opinion? "...tastes like turkey." Oh well, enjoy it anyway!