Salmon

We have reached a food that is on my least-favorites-ever list. Right up there with cottage cheese. Yes, I'm aware that most people enjoy both of these things. I don't. Apparently, the Dursleys enjoy it as well:

"They got all the way through the soup and salmon without a single mention of Harry's faults; during the lemon meringue pie, Uncle Vernon bored them all with a long talk about Grunnings, his drill-making company; then Aunt Petunia made coffee and Uncle Vernon brought out a bottle of brandy" (Prisoner of Azkaban 27).

One might wonder how we're going to make vegetarian salmon... but we're going to attempt it anyway! I found a recipe online for "Raw Vegan Better-Than-Salmon Loaf". So that's what we're going to try!

You Will Need:

2 cups almonds (soaked overnight and drained)

2 carrots, peeled (if you chop them too, it'll be easier)

1/2 cup red sweet onion, finely chopped

1 garlic clove, minced

1/2 red bell pepper, finely diced

1.5 cups celery, finely minced

1/2 cup parsley, minced

1/4 cup scallions, minced

1/4 freshly squeezed lemon juice

2 tsp kelp powder (they have it at Whole Foods)

1 tsp dulse powder (they have this at Whole Foods too)

1 tsp kosher salt

1. Place the almonds, carrots, and red onions in the bowl of a food processor and run until everything is very fine and sticks together, a bit like a grainy paste.

2. Transfer into a large bowl and add the rest of the ingredients. Mix thoroughly (using your hands probably works best).

3. Shape into a loaf or cake on your serving dish and place in the fridge for at least 3, but preferably 6 hours before serving.

This is pretty tasty! It also doesn't taste anything at all like salmon :) My mom, who loves salmon, says she could kind of, sort of, maybe, get a hint of salmon flavor (that would be from the kelp and the dulse, I imagine). Regardless of its (lack of) salmon-ness, it's very tasty! Enjoy it on crackers, or as a topping to a bagel with cream cheese! Or with hummus and pita chips! If, however, you are looking for more of a traditional salmon substitute, you may want to sample May Wah Vegetarian Salmon. I've never tried it, but it looks pretty legit, and very affordable! So go have some "salmon" and enjoy!

On a bagel! Yummy!