Firewhiskey

I think most adult readers have wondered about the flavor of our next food item, which appears over and over throughout the Harry Potter series, but is introduced for the first time by Professor Lockhart:

"I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples-- though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey" (Chamber of Secrets 100).

Since Ogden's Old Firewhiskry doesn't exist in the muggle world, I set out to learn how to create it with existing liquors. There are a couple different options. The first and most common recipe is to simply add Tabasco sauce to whiskey. 

Whiskey is not my poison of choice to begin with, and adding Tabasco to it just sounds foul. But never fear, I found another option that seemed slightly less disgusting, yet equally fire-y.

You Will Need:

Your favorite whiskey

Cinnamon Hot Damn

1. Pour two parts whiskey and one part Hot Damn in a shot glass.

2. Enjoy.

Just one sip of this was more than enough for me. My mouth was immediately on fire. I cannot imagine wanting to drink it again, even it was to toast Mad-Eye Moody. If you like whiskey, you may have a different opinion, in which case I recommend you give it a try.

Milk

"Harry and Ron sat down at the Gryffindor table next to Hermione, who had her copy of Voyages with Vampires propped open against a milk jug" (Chamber of Secrets 86).

In my attempt to find something to make for which the main ingredient is milk (aside from telling you to pour yourself a nice tall glass), I have found Milk Jellies. I have a feeling they will be something like flan... which I've never had... but we'll see!

You Will Need:
4 tsp unflavored gelatin
1 glass skim milk (I'm going to assume that means 8oz, let's hope I'm right!)
2 tsp sweetener
4 drops vanilla extract

1. Bring the milk to a boil and add the sweetener.
2. While boiling, pour 150mL of boiling water over the gelatin and stir well.
3. Remove the milk from the heat and add the gelatin mix. Stir well.
4. Stir in the vanilla.
5. Pour the mixture into containers. Washed out yogurt cups work well, silicone ice trays are also a good bet. Unfortunately, I didn't have any individual-size containers around, so I just used the smallest mixing bowl I had.

6. Place in the fridge for at least two hours to set.
7. Invert onto a serving dish if you'd like, or eat right out of the container :)

As you can see, gravity works :) I didn't realize that I only had half the required amount of gelatin. Surprisingly, it still gelled, but I definitely recommend using enough of each ingredient!

I assumed that Milk Jelly would be kind of gross, or at least have a weird texture (and that's from someone who eats tofu every day!). But honestly, it's basically custard-flavored jell-o. And it's a lot better for you than normal custard! So if you want to try a new and pretty healthy treat, make some milk jellies!

Kippers

I'm afraid we have reached another item for which there simply is no vegetarian substitution:

"The four long house tables were laden with tureens of porridge, plates of kippers, mountains of toast, and dishes of eggs and bacon, beneath the enchanted ceiling (today, a dull, cloudy gray)" (Chamber of Secrets 86).

Kippers, in case you didn't know, is (according to wikipedia, that pinnacle of source materials) a whole herring. A small, oily fish, that has been split from head to tail, gutted, salted or pickled, and cold smoked. They are commonly eaten in Britain for breakfast. 

I will keep my opinions on kippers to myself. Suffice to say, we will not be preparing them today.

Chicken and Ham Sandwiches

Our next food is one that I definitely balked at when I read it for the first time. But I have been assured by several people, American and British alike, that it is not, in fact, disgusting. Clearly Harry and Ron are big fans:

"A large plate of sandwiches, two silver goblets, and a jug of iced pumpkin juice appeared with a pop... 'Can you believe our luck though?' said Ron thickly through a mouthful of chicken and ham" (Chamber of Secrets 83).

I suppose the sandwiches McGonagall conjured could have been of several different varieties, since the plate kept refilling itself until the boys were stuffed to satisfaction, but only chicken and ham is specified. So there. 

I found a recipe for this delightful-sounding dish on tips-how.com (thank you google searches). Before we begin, it seems to me that if possible, you should use similarly textured forms of "meats." I was unable to do this, since I used chicken-flavored seitan and Light Life's smoked ham lunchmeat. If you ever find a recipe for "ham" seitan or find a supplier of "chicken" lunchmeat, let me know! Moving on.

You Will Need:

Bread

Mustard

Butter

Your favorite chicken substitute, thinly sliced

Your favorite ham substitute, thinly sliced

1. Mix together some mustard and butter/margarine. You'll probably need to significantly soften the butter first.

2. Spread the mustard/butter on two slices of bread.

3. Layer up the "chicken" and "ham" between the two slices of prepared bread. 

4. Eat.

I won't lie to you, I did not actually mix together mustard and butter. And really, the butter is a major component to the British-ness of this sandwich. Brits put butter on most sandwiches (including, in my experience, peanut butter sandwiches). But it turns out that chicken and ham taste fine together. Clearly someone figured that out long before I did, given the relative popularity of chicken cordon bleu. Anyway, if you're looking for a new sandwich for lunch, you might want to give this one a try.

Custard Tart

Custard has somehow remained a tricky dessert in my family. The family recipe for custard pie always ended up tasting like hard boiled eggs. Not very appetizing. Lucky for the students at Hogwarts, the House Elves don't seem to have difficulty preparing their custard tarts:

"'I must go back to the feast, Minerva, I've got to give out a few notices. Come Severus, there's a delicious-looking custard tart I want to sample" (Chamber of Secrets 82).

If Dumbledore likes it, it must be good! I'll be using the recipe included in The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook. One thing to note however: I used a pie pan instead of a tart pan (because I don't own a tart pan). Tart pans are usually smaller and have vertical sides, so the custard filling was not quite enough to fill the crust.

For the Crust, You Will Need:

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 tsp salt

1 stick cold butter, cut into pieces

1 large egg yolk

2 Tbs heavy cream

1 tsp vanilla

Note: Generally, baking calls for unsalted butter. If you only have salted butter, you can use it, just remove the pinch of salt from the ingredients (which is what I did today).

For the Custard, You Will Need:

1 cup whole milk

1/2 cup heavy cream

3 large egg yolks

1/4 cup granulated sugar

2 tsp cornstarch

1 Tbs butter

1 tsp vanilla

1. For the crust, place the flour, sugar, and salt in the bowl of a food processor and pulse to combine.

2. Scatter the butter pieces over the powder and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse yellow meal, without any white powdery bits remaining. Transfer to a large mixing bowl.

3. Beat the egg yolk with the cream and vanilla and pour it into the flour mixture.

4. Toss with a spatula until it sticks together. If too dry, add another Tbs of cream (you might want to do this, I didn't and regretted it later. Better too wet than too dry!).

5. Form the dough into a disk, wrap in plastic wrap, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours or up to 3 days.

6. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Remove the dough from the fridge and roll it out on a floured surface into an 11-inch circle. You might need to let it rest on the floured surface for a few minutes if it's too hard.

7. Transfer the dough into the tart pan (preferably with a removable bottom) and trim off the excess. Freeze the shell for 10 minutes.

8. Remove from the freezer and line with aluminum foil and fill it with pie weights (or beans). Bake until the dough is dry and set, about 20 minutes.

9. Remove the weights and foil, reduce the heat to 350 degrees, and continue baking until the crust is golden, about 8 minutes.

10. While the crust is baking, prepare the custard. Heat the milk and cream in a small saucepan until hot but not yet simmering.

11. In the meantime, whisk the yolks, sugar, and cornstarch until smooth.

12. Temper the yolk mixture with 1/2 cup of the hot milk and then pour the hot yolk mixture back into the saucepan.

13. Continue to cook the custard, stirring continuously, until the whisk scrapes up some thickened bits of custard. Do not let the custard simmer or boil.

14. Remove the custard from the heat and stir in the butter and vanilla.

15. Raise the oven temperature to 375 degrees. Pour the hot custard into the hot crust and bake until the custard puffs up but is still jiggly, about 15 minutes.

16. Remove the tart from the oven and set out to cool completely before serving. The custard should set up as it cools.

Mmmm, this is a delicious dessert! No wonder Dumbledore wanted to try it! Enjoy!

Pumpkin Juice

One of the most exciting things to try at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is pumpkin juice. Very sweet, but also pumpkin-y and delicious! I do think it's funny that a British school of Wizardry in existence for thousands of years would serve pumpkin juice... since pumpkins are native to North America, which wasn't "discovered" until 1492...

Maybe the wizards found it before Columbus did.



Regardless, the first occurrence of pumpkin juice is during Harry and Ron's epic car ride to Hogwarts:

"He [Harry] had stopped noticing the fantastic cloud shapes now and was thinking longingly of the train miles below, where you could buy ice-cold pumpkin juice from a trolley pushed by a plump witch" (Chamber of Secrets 72).

Dinah Bucholz includes a recipe for Pumpkin Juice in her cookbook, as well as in the digital collection of summer recipes published last June. So that is the recipe I'll use today.

You Will Need:

1 cup of cooked and mashed pumpkin (or canned pumpkin, which is what I used)

2 cups apple juice

1 cup white grape juice

1 cup pineapple juice

1. Place all the ingredients in a pitcher and stir until the pumpkin is incorporated and not lumpy.

2. Chill in the fridge until very cold.

3. Serve over ice and enjoy.

I have to say, this quails in comparison to the pumpkin juice sold at Universal Orlando (and theirs is basically just apple cider mixed with pumpkin and spices). You can't even really taste the pumpkin in this recipe. Honestly, if I had to describe the taste... it's closer to apricots than anything else. Luckily you can purchase it from the website above!

I recommend skipping the homemade pumpkin juice. 

Go have a butterbeer instead.

Toffee

In America, people often think of toffee as a chewy, sticky candy. Of course, toffee's first appearance in the Harry Potter series is during a very hot and sticky "road trip," so maybe that contributes to the misconception:

"This, thought Harry, was surely the way to travel-- past swirls and turrets of snowy cloud, in a car full of hot, bright sunlight, with a fat pack of toffees in the glove compartment, and the prospect of seeing Fred's and George's jealous face when they landed smoothly and spectacularly in the sweeping lawn in front of Hogwarts castle" (Chamber of Secrets 71).

English toffee is much more like the hard toffee you might find in the middle of a Heath Bar. There are several recipes out there, including one in The Unofficial Harry Potter Cookbook. Though slightly modified, that is basically the recipe I will use.

You Will Need (this includes my modifications):

1 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup golden syrup or light corn syrup

1.5 sticks salted butter

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/4 tsp cream of tartar

1 tsp vanilla

your favorite chocolate, chopped (I used milk chocolate chips)

1. Grease a rimmed baking sheet and line it with parchment or wax paper, allowing the paper to climb up the sides on at least 2 sides.

2. Place the sugar, golden syrup, butter, heavy cream, and cream of tartar in a medium-large saucepan and cook over medium-high heat, stirring constantly, until completely combined.

3. Reduce the heat to medium-low (wash the sides down with a pastry brush dipped in water if any sugar crystals form).

4. Using a candy thermometer, continue to cook, stirring constantly (this really is important!), until the temperature reaches 260 degrees (Dinah Bucholz' recipe calls for it to be way hotter).

5. Remove the pan from the heat and quickly (but carefully!) stir in the vanilla.

6. Immediately pour the mixture onto the prepared baking sheet. Move quickly, because it will start to harden pretty fast. Allow it to cool completely, without putting it in the fridge.

7. Melt the chocolate in the microwave and pour/spread it over the hardened toffee.

8. Place the chocolate-covered toffee in the fridge for 10 minutes or until the chocolate sets.

9. Peel the toffee off the wax paper and break it into irregular pieces. 

This is some tasty candy, my friends! And I really think cooking it to the lower temperature (260 degrees versus the 300 called for in the cookbook), yields a much better toffee that is hard, but gets pleasantly chewy after a few moments in your mouth. If you like, you could certainly press some chopped nuts into the chocolate before it sets, creating a more classically English Toffee. But however you decide to prepare it, be sure to enjoy! And maybe imagine you're in a flying Ford Anglia on your way to your next year at Hogwarts!